School is a place where we work, study and play. It is a place where we spend long hours to nurture our creativity and minds.
Firstly, discipline is obviously essential in school as it helps to control pupils that are mischievous and pupils who need extra help.
In our views, although discipline is essential, but it should not be enforce too much. All students do not like discipline as they want to be carefree and do whatever they want without having to bear the consequences.
Thirdly, without discipline, the school will be in a chaos and thus, denting the reputation of the school. In another hand, without discipline, the pupils maybe more happy and concentrate better and enabling them to score better in their exams and tests.
Lastly, students might think that teachers had placed their trust in them and thus, turning over a new leaf.
To conclude, we agree that a school should be a place of discipline.
Done By: No. 8 and 20
Ok. First of all, you need to follow the format I gave you in class -
ReplyDeleteIntro, Argument for, argument against, conclusion.
You started out alright with saying that discipline should be enforced, but then go on to argue that although discipline should be enforced, it shouldn't be done so too strictly. Then, in your third paragraph, you go back to arguing that school needs discipline or it'll get too chaotic.
You need to organize your points so that all the points for school discipline go together, and those that are against school discipline are grouped together.
Note also that it is "on the other hand" and not "in the other hand".
Also - it's a little too short. About 200 words would be the ideal length...
Ms leong can we redo?
ReplyDeleteabsolutely. Please re-do.
ReplyDelete