Our learning journey begins in the school, satisfying our thirst for knowledge
on a higher level and at a less constraining manner. Thus, i disagree that the
school should become a site of discipline.
To begin with, by constraining the students freedom, it will increase the risk of students
having conflict with the teachers. Consequently, students will be facing stress and are
unable to focus in class.
Secondly, in our opinions, the knowledge we gained are supposed to be learned in a more innovative manner and should have more room for individual expressions. Furthermore,
by learning creatively, it allows students to discover their hidden potentials. However, on the other hand, without any emphasising on discipline, it will also result in rowdy classrooms and disrupted lessons. So, at the end of the day, students will not learn anything fruitful.
In addition, students will be too carefree and might influenced their studies. Therefore, in conclusion, a strong balance is needed to unleash their full potential in their studies. Even though giving students space is important but maintaining order and discipline is also equally significant. So in summary,the school is like our second home and so shouldn't be dreaded as a site of discipline.
Done by: 16 and 19
Dear number 16 and 19,
ReplyDeleteYour essay organisation is good. What you need to focus on are presentation and content.
Firstly, as you might have noted, your sentence appears chopped up. This makes reading your essay difficult and puzzling.
Secondly, while you raised some good points like how students may become too carefree if there is no discipline, you need to elaborate what you mean by this.
Is being carefree bad? How may being too carefree influence their studies? Do they neglect revision? Homework doesn't get done?
Hope this helps.