School is a place for studying,playing and fun and laughter,School is also considered our second home. Some people think that school should be a place of discipline. I disagree.
To begin,we will first talk about the rules that should be implant into the school.Rules such as Discipline,Behaviour and many more others.Without these rules,we are sure that we cannot concentrate in studying.Also, the problem we face are conflicting with teachers,the students will be stress when facing the teachers
The teachers in school are not the parents of the student, so they can't use any abusive discipline method on the student. If they want to discipline the student, they must call the student's parent to allow them to use this method. To conclude, we disagree that the school to use abusive discipline methods to discipline the students in school, students should also be discipline. Thank you !
You have some relevant points, but because of your organization, it is not immediately clear that you do.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, in paragraph 2, the point beginning with "Also, the problem..." should be moved down to start a new paragraph.
Secondly, you should punctuate all your sentences.
Lastly, though you have some good points, not all of these are relevant and your conclusion is slightly out of point. As you might recall, the question asked you whether you think schools should become a place of discipline, and not whether schools should turn to abusive disciplinary methods. While what you're arguing is not wholly OoP, you can phrase it better.
For example, you can say, On the other hand, teachers in schools are not the parents of the student...
In conclusion, we disagree that schools should make use of harsh disciplinary actions but instead try softer methods as discipline begins with the student and not the teacher...
I also observed that you have a very similar essay to no 31 and 36. Would you care to explain how you were inspired by them? Plagiarism is a very serious offence.
ReplyDelete